Confusion

People who know what they want to do when they are 12, and maintain that throughout their lives, are lucky.

They solved just one of the few modern day life challenges early on.

I'm still thinking about it, and to be quite honest, it causes me quite a lot of angst. One - because I haven't narrowed down which discipline it is that I really want to dedicate my life to, but I keep coming up with some combination of Philosophy + Sociology + Journalism + Writing + Behavior + Decision Sciences.

Do I really have to choose? Within Philosophy itself, there's applied ethics, modern philosophy ancient, epistemology, metaphysics, logic, etc. The sheer amount of branches blows my mind. How can I choose?

I remember wanting to do market research and not aggressively pursuing it because I let other people discourage me. In fact, I should have tried harder to pursue something I wanted, that being market research, at the time. Instead, I was passive and I waited, and I hated all of my jobs.

I can't keep looking behind though, I have to look forward too. I don't know, just the way other people talk about what they are doing, they had more conviction and certainty. And it may not be that they ACTUALLY HAVE more conviction and certainty, they just say and act like they have more certainty and confidence.

Ugh. It's painful. It's like, I want to be a Social Scientist, which points to Sociology, and I am by nature of how I thin, already a scientist, but for some stupid, painful reason I cannot explain, (seriously) - all invisible arrows point to Philosophy. Even though I really think I would be so good at Sociology, perhaps I would be EVEN better at Philosophy. Still trying to figure it out! Sigh.