When I was in High School, I thought I knew everything. I thought I would be a millionaire by the time I was 21. And, if I had not gone down the very route many go down, (college, first job), who knows what would have happened? I was a very ambitious and hard-working 17 year old at the time.
But, I did go to college and this isn't about the what if anyway. This is about the now, and how I got to where I am RIGHT NOW.
I went to college thinking I would go into business. But, when I got there, I almost immediately changed as a person. I started appreciating having fun, and my leisure time, for once! I didn't want to put my nose to the ground like I had in high school and grind. I just wanted to have fun and be like everybody else.
Instead of going to the very prestigious undergraduate business school, as planned, I ended up being an Economics major for practical reasons. I was marketable in terms of getting a good job after school, and it was a broad major that would keep many doors open. I did not, by any means, study Economics because it interested or fascinated me.
The rest of my career up until this point is barely worth speaking about. I have held uninspiring jobs in fields I cared little about, until now. In retrospect, it's really no wonder that I was quite miserable in that facet of my life all throughout my 20's. Some people don't let their job affect them, and they live and enjoy their life otherwise, but for me, it was a huge dark cloud in my otherwise wonderful life.
I am happy learning now. I know that whatever comes next, will be much, much better than before, because I have finally learned and decided to pursue what I like and love, as opposed to just doing something to earn an income. I can't tell you what a huge difference this step has made in my life.
With regards to love, wow, I guess I have as many stories as I have career switches (there have been many). All the mistakes I made, all the stupid games I played, PHEW. I guess I'll save those for another time, but I guess - no, I know - that I am a late bloomer, and that I shouldn't be so hard on myself. But then again, boy did I make some stupid, stupid moves. Over and over and over again.
1 - Playing Games
2 - Putting Obstacles where there need not be one.
3 - The person you are dating is a human being with feelings.
4 - Really, piss poor, terrible communication.
I think that about sums it up. Need I go into more detail? Playing games, waiting for the other person to reach out to you instead of just calling them myself because I was thinking about them. Hiding my feelings because I thought that would make the chase more exciting, and that they would like me more. Or out of fear. I mean, I could rationalize this - because people, or maybe just girls, do actually want what they can't have (silly) - but in general this is just a nonsensical strategy that gets you nowhere, in my opinion.
Putting obstacles where there not be one - I would try so so hard to make it nearly impossible for a guy to get close to me. Not on purpose, but unconsciously. And if it was getting to the point where they could get close to me, I would immediately put an obstacle in between me and him. That usually, no in fact, almost always resulted in me getting dumped, and then being very, very depressed about it.
I also never seemed to "get" that the person I was dating, well, was a human being with feelings. I know that sounds incredibly obtuse, stupid, and insensitive, and well - maybe I was. No, actually, let's just say - Yes, I was. Yes, that's right...the person you are dating Diane has feelings and you should heed their feelings, since if you are in a relationship, that generally means that you care about somebody else besides yourself. I just didn't get that.
Communication. This is a tough one but crucial one, and I actually think it would be fair of me to say that this could have been improved on both sides with many of the people I dated. It's like the chicken or the egg, which one comes first? If any of the guys I had dated had approached me by wanting to have an open, honest conversation, that would have paved the way for open communication and a healthy relationship. At least, we would have stood a chance. And, I could have easily done that too. But, I was a terrible communicator, and scared to do it in some cases, so I never thought to or I never did.
I will go into more specific career and dating stories (they are closely tied and related to each other in my life) in detail later on! For now - I just had to get that off my chest.
Showing posts with label careers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label careers. Show all posts
8/21/11
The Pros and Cons of Being an Employee
For the most part, I have appreciated the financial rewards and leisure time that being an employee has allowed for me. On the other hand, I’ve have also felt that most of my jobs have been a waste of my time. This could be partially be because I was never doing what I really wanted to be doing (learning, being challenged, and coming up with new studies or researching ideas that could have relevance in the real world).
Everyone has a different risk profile, but here are a few of my thoughts about the pros and cons of working for someone else-
The pros to being an employee:
1 - You don't take on the risk of the success or failure of the business. A lot of businesses fail.
2 – You can leave work at work.
3 – Your level of responsibility and overall burden can be less, depending on the company and role.
4 – You gain work experience, and learn, and are compensated.
5 – You have more leisure time.
The cons to being an employee:
1 - You will always "work for the man" and have reported to somebody other than yourself for your entire career.
2 - You built somebody else’s idea and worked towards and for their interests.
3 - After 20-30 years of hard work, dedication, sweat, tears, and blood, there is still a good chance that you will on the job market as a senior level candidate looking for work before you retire.
5 - Unless you are in the top 2-5% of your field, you are replaceable. Even the President of the United States is replaceable.
6 - Though you had a successful career, raised a family, put your kids through college, and then some, this probably wasn't your real/true passion. Was it what you wanted to do when you were 8, 25, or even 35?
7 – It is possible that you invested more into work than work invested into you.
8 – Most employers (excepting Tony Hsieh and a few others) want an employee who will execyte and do their work as directed. This leaves less room for successful implementation of out of the box/creative ideas.
For more on the topic…
An in-depth discussion on the employee/employer relationship-
More on Employee/Employer Relationships
A survey done by Salary.com on Job Satisfaction and Retention broken down by employee responses vs. employer responses –
Salary.com Survey
Everyone has a different risk profile, but here are a few of my thoughts about the pros and cons of working for someone else-
The pros to being an employee:
1 - You don't take on the risk of the success or failure of the business. A lot of businesses fail.
2 – You can leave work at work.
3 – Your level of responsibility and overall burden can be less, depending on the company and role.
4 – You gain work experience, and learn, and are compensated.
5 – You have more leisure time.
The cons to being an employee:
1 - You will always "work for the man" and have reported to somebody other than yourself for your entire career.
2 - You built somebody else’s idea and worked towards and for their interests.
3 - After 20-30 years of hard work, dedication, sweat, tears, and blood, there is still a good chance that you will on the job market as a senior level candidate looking for work before you retire.
5 - Unless you are in the top 2-5% of your field, you are replaceable. Even the President of the United States is replaceable.
6 - Though you had a successful career, raised a family, put your kids through college, and then some, this probably wasn't your real/true passion. Was it what you wanted to do when you were 8, 25, or even 35?
7 – It is possible that you invested more into work than work invested into you.
8 – Most employers (excepting Tony Hsieh and a few others) want an employee who will execyte and do their work as directed. This leaves less room for successful implementation of out of the box/creative ideas.
For more on the topic…
An in-depth discussion on the employee/employer relationship-
More on Employee/Employer Relationships
A survey done by Salary.com on Job Satisfaction and Retention broken down by employee responses vs. employer responses –
Salary.com Survey
General Thoughts on How to Think About Some Things
I often think about my own career choices, and the various pros and cons of the 5 companies I have worked for over the past 7 years. What I have always considered and ruminated on in each of the opportunities, can be boiled down to a blend of economics (opportunity costs/trade-offs), psychology (motivations/self-interest), and philosophy (why/what’s the purpose/point?). Things that would often cross my mind are and consume my thoughts were focused around: how can my time best be utilized, what is the point of what I’m doing, and do I care about what I am doing here every day?
I basically analyzed my job the way a business would look at their costs, benefits and trade-offs.
For example-
If I do this job (x), what do I give up in return for doing x?
If I have a job that pays me 80k annually to sell their product, what am I giving up in exchange?
Or, you could be bit more touchy-feely about it -
1) I love my job, and it’s pushing me closer to where I want to be = win – win.
2) I hate my job, and all I get out of it is money = almost a complete loss.
3) I am learning, I like my co-workers, it’s not my dream job, dislike my manager = a messier breakdown of trade-offs.
However, if it’s anything other than a win-win, and exactly what you would like to be doing then you should acknowledge that there are some tradeoffs, long and short term.
You could be traveling ir inventing the next app for the iPhone. You could be practicing a musical instrument, or even searching for the job you really want!
That’s why for some matters in life, clearly not all are appropriate, I like to look at life like a series of trade-offs and ask myself what is going to get me the best return and utility?
I basically analyzed my job the way a business would look at their costs, benefits and trade-offs.
For example-
If I do this job (x), what do I give up in return for doing x?
If I have a job that pays me 80k annually to sell their product, what am I giving up in exchange?
Or, you could be bit more touchy-feely about it -
1) I love my job, and it’s pushing me closer to where I want to be = win – win.
2) I hate my job, and all I get out of it is money = almost a complete loss.
3) I am learning, I like my co-workers, it’s not my dream job, dislike my manager = a messier breakdown of trade-offs.
However, if it’s anything other than a win-win, and exactly what you would like to be doing then you should acknowledge that there are some tradeoffs, long and short term.
You could be traveling ir inventing the next app for the iPhone. You could be practicing a musical instrument, or even searching for the job you really want!
That’s why for some matters in life, clearly not all are appropriate, I like to look at life like a series of trade-offs and ask myself what is going to get me the best return and utility?
8/20/11
Spreading Happiness
I have read a number of books and articles on happiness and had many conversations on the topic over the past years.
I know that some quotes indicate that the second you start "looking" for happiness, it disappears. I can understand that in part because the minute you start inspecting your life and taking it apart, the higher the chances that you stumble upon some aspects of your life that aren't so great. Still, I believe that you should take an introspective approach and see how you could increase your overall level of happiness.
There are only 3 things at this particular point in my life (though pretty big things) that I believe would considerably increase my own happiness and personal well-being:
1) Attitude. A positive attitude is pretty much key. Having a better attitude would certainly result in a net gain in happiness.
2) Meeting the Right Person. Having a partner in life to experience and share life with...seems fairly obvious at this point. Studies and experience leave me with conviction and total confidence that this is a huge and important component to hapiness.
3) Finding the right Career. Speaks for itself and similar to #2. People need a purpose in life. Figure out your unique and special talents and how to apply them in the real world.
That was a bit of an aside though, the main reason I am writing this is to state something that may already be obvious to others, which I've learned time and time again and I hope I don't have to learn it to many MORE times again, but for me, it is such that the best way for me to spread happiness, is to be happy myself. Generally speaking, I am a much nicer, kinder, more forgiving, and loving person to others when I am happy myself and happy with myself. So in a nod to being "selfish" - make yourself happy first so that you are able to give more to others!
A few book recommendations:
Stumbling On Happiness - Daniel Gilbert
The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin
Delivering Happiness - Tony Hsieh
I know that some quotes indicate that the second you start "looking" for happiness, it disappears. I can understand that in part because the minute you start inspecting your life and taking it apart, the higher the chances that you stumble upon some aspects of your life that aren't so great. Still, I believe that you should take an introspective approach and see how you could increase your overall level of happiness.
There are only 3 things at this particular point in my life (though pretty big things) that I believe would considerably increase my own happiness and personal well-being:
1) Attitude. A positive attitude is pretty much key. Having a better attitude would certainly result in a net gain in happiness.
2) Meeting the Right Person. Having a partner in life to experience and share life with...seems fairly obvious at this point. Studies and experience leave me with conviction and total confidence that this is a huge and important component to hapiness.
3) Finding the right Career. Speaks for itself and similar to #2. People need a purpose in life. Figure out your unique and special talents and how to apply them in the real world.
That was a bit of an aside though, the main reason I am writing this is to state something that may already be obvious to others, which I've learned time and time again and I hope I don't have to learn it to many MORE times again, but for me, it is such that the best way for me to spread happiness, is to be happy myself. Generally speaking, I am a much nicer, kinder, more forgiving, and loving person to others when I am happy myself and happy with myself. So in a nod to being "selfish" - make yourself happy first so that you are able to give more to others!
A few book recommendations:
Stumbling On Happiness - Daniel Gilbert
The Happiness Project - Gretchen Rubin
Delivering Happiness - Tony Hsieh
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)