too many thoughts...

I am having sensory overload this afternoon. I'm confused. I don't know what I want, who I am, or how to change things or which things should be changed. I feel like a malleable person, whose dreams could change within the minute..

The weekend was fun. A close college friend was visiting and a group of 8+ went to a BYOB Eva & Lulu's. I had an amazing summer squash entree with vegetables, and the duck was spectacular. Afterwards we went to a college-ish bar, where we took silly pictures and danced wildly. I don't know enough bars here, but I also have a hard time remembering the locations of the places that I do like which means only one thing. That I should get a hand-held device with internet capabilities. That would be awesome. Well, so would internet and cable in my apartment.
Saturday night I cooked some fresh-cut fettucine from Rafetto's and met up with some friends for a few sake bombs before hitting Turtle Bay. This was followed by a decnt rooftop party. The weekend was topped off with brunch at Penelope's on 30th and Lex and a jog along Hudson River Park on Sunday.

I also talked to my sister on Sunday night and received an e-mail from a close friend this morning and all of these random thoughts are flooding my mind. How do you know when you are in the right relationship? How do you know if there isn't somebody better out there for you? I think the answer is: you don't. More on this topic later...

I googled "personal career coach" at the suggestion of my mother and found a few quick websites listing the ways they could help. A certain phrase caught my attention:

"I coach individuals and businesses on how to truly get aligned with their stated goals and values. How do we do that together? By closing the gap between who or what they say they are, or want to be, and who or what they actually are now, as expressed through their actions (and inaction). "

How true, methinks. I say I want to be a certain kind of person but that is completely at odds withmy actual actions. I have heard this before, but had long forgotten its practical appeal.

And lastly, in this stream of barely coherent thoughts, after viewing a variety of blogs I look at a few that are popular (with paid ads) and think "I can do this." And I believe that I can!!